in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
