He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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