I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
