When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
