Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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