Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize