I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
