I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
