3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's like heaven, but drunker
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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