I hate your face
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
