Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
