so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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