Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize