I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dicks are not precious.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
