He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
