and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize