wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
