Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
