Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
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