I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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