party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
