What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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