I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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