if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
