I CAN MOONWALK!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
