I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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