So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
