I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
