nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
