Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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