don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
