i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
