This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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