Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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