I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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