There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
