I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
