But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize