So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your penis caused this!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
