he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
