i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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