So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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