Just fell off a train. Bad.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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