I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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