so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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