help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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