i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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