She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
