Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
