Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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