Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
