and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
