Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
