four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
