Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
