So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
