I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize